In this article taking about most people do not want freedom, i think in my opinion everybody desire freedom, because of many reason, such as for the society.
for example- in my country Bangladesh, a lot of women strive to be freedom, women does not have any freedom because of our society, said that woman should not allowed to go out, to work they don't have any right to make their own decision. they only can get married and take care of their family .
humanity can solve any problem and achieve any desire result, it does not matter who are you?
alot of wamen have degree in my country but they can not allow to work,reason of they dont have any freedom, if you have family you can make financial freedoom a project for everyone,if the woman have a good job they could be finashial support their family, it makes our live more easy.
finally i would like to say that in the united states people have a lot of freedom thats why in this country don't have any financial problem.
Hi Onamika Ferdoushi, I think that your essay is kind of confusing. I believe that you should have found a claim responding to or elaborating on what the passage was about :The Dangers of Reality TV". When writing an essay try not to use run on sentences, and always reread what you have wrote before posting. Although you did not write a claim, reason, or evidence relating to the passage, you also did not write one in your own essay about "Freedom". Just try to focus more on finding claims and everything else will fall into place.
ReplyDeleteHi Onamika, I like your topic essay and the examples you used but your essay was kind of "all over the place".
ReplyDeleteOK first lets start off with the word freedom. Freedom can be your claim. Why dont people want freedom? Thats an interesting question. I will like to know. Maybe you could have given us some extra info the author wrote to support that claim. Always support your claim with reasons. Give us some reasons. The example that you gave us about your country was good. The women in your country- do they not want freedom? Is it by choice? Because if not I dont see why you would relate the two. Unless you wanted to use your country as an example as to why people should be grateful they have freedom while other countries some people dont.
I get what your saying and where your going with this essay.Just remeber, claim, reasons, ressearch(proof). in that order, and it would be just fine Onamika <3